My access to my own dominant capability has been back in the upswing, and gaining momentum for a short time now. When did that start? Waking back up and reconnecting to life and my relationship after a year of being shut down. That's the first key. Followed by being able to see and thus suss and eventually start controlling my emotional reactions to trigger points. Add in being pushed to make progress, remembering that I am capable and good at a number of things. Throw in a conversation about wants that coincide with those of my partner, especially one that unlocked some long suppressed wants in me, gave me a sense that they were not wrong but encouraged. And lastly, {I} opening up a number of her emotional lock-downs and returning to showing her want for submission.
What does that make for?
Difficulty not engaging in D/s together, considering that element was present in our sex life before we actually started engaging in anything terribly kink. It's second nature to us, especially when we get aroused together.
And just recently one of our interactions just rolled that way, heavy, all of it's own accord. We actually had to consciously modify the way we were interacting to keep from going full bore into it.
Gets me a little edgy. This aspect is back to manifestation for me, and I have to try to keep it closed off. Difficult.
And or sex life seems to subtly lack vivaciousness without it. . .
hmm. . .
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