What's the reality?
I think testing and judgement each have their place. But I also believe there is a state of too far.
When one enacts little to nothing aside from testing and judging one's partner, one is not building anything. There is no input of positive growth. And even if your judgement constantly errs in favour of the partner being what you want them to be, constantly testing is like cutting tiny bits off the relationship over and over. Constant testing also can serve to impede the very connectivity it is looking to verify. It keeps the wielder distanced and disconnected.
At least, these things are why I think people see it as wrong. More, it's an underlying aspect that I can see in there somewhere.
I don't test enough. I give trust and love too readily. So, it's easy for me to see the utility in testing one's partner.
-- Maybe that's a thing. Maybe I was testing. Then the game got changed on me. * thinking *
I maintain. Testing one's partner has a place. But it can also take over and just kinda ruin things.
[edit] Originally wrote this months ago. Decided I could stand to post it.
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